Giving away my power

I find it almost impossible to say no. Its part of my unassertive personality.

I have been reading about adrenal fatigue recently as I'm sure I have it. It sounds unrelated to being unassertive, but its not. According to this website, the key to healing adrenal fatigue is to stop "giving away my power". I'm still trying to properly understand what this is. (And I'm planning to post more about healing adrenal fatigue in the coming weeks, a new focus linked to quitting sugar.)

But for now, I think I have a perfect example of giving away my power.

On Friday my boss's assistant called me to ask if I was ok switching desks with another girl in the team.

The other girl's desk is further down the corridor and away from all natural light. I love where I sit now because the people who sit around me are friendly and talkative. Coming into work 2 days per week for some social interaction is really important to me. (Most other days are spent talking with my 22 month old or having superficial conversations with other mums at the park.) The other desk is surrounded by quiet people that I don't know very well. I do not want to move.

But of course, I immediately said yes. Even when I was doing it, I knew that I was "giving away my power". I rationalised it to myself though. My boss allows me a lot of flexibility for which I am very grateful. So in return, I do not want to be a difficult employee. Also, because I only work 2 days per week in the office, do I really have the right to demand "a good desk" over others who work 5 days a week?

I have pushed my wants so far down the priority ladder that I hardly ever focus on them. And I have so little practice asking for things that I don't know how to do it. I feel like if I do ask then I'm being demanding and difficult.

Today I read this article about how saying yes is bad for your health. That article is about me. I always want to be amenable. I'm always doing "the right thing" by others. I have to change though. I still felt uneasy about saying yes to the move, it was preying on my mind.

So I've just sent a simple and polite email to my boss's assistant, asking if we could explore other solutions as I would prefer to stay at my desk. I can't believe I found it so hard to build up the courage to do it, as it was so easy in the end. And I feel better already.

Do you have trouble saying no? Is it affecting your health?