Sweet Revenge

I've found a new source of motivation for eating better, exercising more, getting fitter, healthier and happier. Its working better than any other type of motivation I've tried before. I've tried the popular ones - doing it for myself, doing it for my son, doing it for my wedding. Nothing special happened. But now, I'm doing it for revenge.

I am struggling with the idea as revenge is rooted in anger, resentment and bitterness instead of the love and peace I want to create in my life. But, the thing is, its working so well.

Every time I start to eat my son's leftovers, to buy a pastry or chocolate, to eat an extra serving - I stop. I stop and say to myself  "I'm not going to give him the satisfaction." That one phrase is enough to make me turn away from the temptation and strengthen my resolve.

I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of becoming a pathetically overweight, unhappy, down-trodden single mum. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of escape. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of being happier than me.

Wheat and Dairy Free (and sugar too)

When I was at Gaia, I ate wholesome meals such as muesli and poached fruit with yogurt or vegetable frittata for breakfast; salad, avocado on sprouted grain bread, kale soup and bean casserole for lunch; and grilled prawns or chicken with vegetables for dinner and fruit based desserts. I rarely snacked and if I did, it was on nuts or fruit. I drank a lot of herbal tea.

The food they provided was very low in sugar, wheat and dairy. It was extremely different to my regular diet.

Lunch Day 1

Lunch Day 2

After eating like this for just 2 days I feel fantastic. I felt lighter in every aspect.  I was at peace with my eating. After just 2 days I even felt like my pants were looser around the waist.

I saw a naturopath when I was there who reminded me of the Type A diet I should be following for my blood type- not only low in meat but also low in wheat and dairy. So I tried to keep the dairy and wheat intake low when I got home. They started to slowly creep back in here and there. I thought to myself that once per week was ok. And I still felt good.

Then I started drinking milky coffee 3 times per week. Then I started eating bread occasionally and then the chocolate, pastries and biscuits followed suit. The overeating and the junk is back and so is feeling bloated and uncomfortable. The contrast is incredible. I feel so heavy and big that I even find it harder to breathe.

My body is telling me LOUD and clear (using the same words I hear from my son all day) :  "I DON'T LIKE IT!" It doesn't like having to process all this crap.

I need to listen to how I feel.



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