Emotional Healing required

Before I left for Gaia I purchased Dr Libby's ebook "Beauty from the Inside Out". It is a whopping 582 pages though so I didn't take it with me.

Ever since I arrived home I've been slowly making my way through it. Each time I manage to sit down and focus on it for 50 pages or so I have an "a-ha" moment.

Dr Libby has pinpointed things that no GP or other specialist has been able to for me. For example, the trigger to my hypothyroidism was when I had glandular fever. (I knew that's what happened myself, but no medically-trained person said to me "yes, this is why that happened and why that makes sense".) 

When I read what Dr Libby has to say on the link between emotions and weight loss (and adrenal fatigue), that's when the light bulb really went on for me. Up until now, whenver anyone has said that we need to heal our emotional issues in order to lose weight, I thought it was bullcrap.

Not anymore.

I'm not going to be able to explain why in a blog post (it takes Dr Libby 582 pages to explain why). But here's a brilliant metaphor she used. I've paraphrased:

There are many steps you can take to actively assist your body when balancing hormones and reducing stress (ie diet changes, supplements, relaxation techniques). But you should also get to the heart of the matter to see why you do what you do when you know what you know - its not a lack of education or knowledge that leads you to eat too much sugar- its biochemical or emotional, or both.

Otherwise its like trying to stop a bath from overflowing by easing the plug out of the hole while leaving the tap running. Exploring the emotional side of your health lets you turn off the tap.

Thank you Dr Libby. I'm going to work on turning off the tap. 

Rainy Monday Observations

1. I always look at the ground in front of me when I walk. If I consciously push my shoulder blades back and down and push my chest out and proud then I'm facing the world and I feel more confident. It will also delay my dowager's hump which is on its way courtesy of my mother and her genes. Remember - eyes up, chest out, shoulder square!

2. My periods are heavier and I have more clots when I am more overweight. I was thinking that the bad periods were a side-effect of the extra weight. But now I've had a mental shift. Both the heavy periods and the extra weight a side effects of eating badly. I simply need to eat better and both symptoms (the periods and the extra weight) would get better. Simple. (Come on brain, come on motivation- eat better! Eat how a human being is meant to eat.....)

3. I went to the effort to make this Dr Oz quinoa porridge for breakfast. It was sh!t, even with strawberries and sweetened coconut added in. And it left me hungry.

4. I crave chocolate all the time. My favourite time eat chocolate is breakfast time. Period or not.

My Beauty Project

I generally quite like Kasey Edwards’ articles. I like what she has to say on body image and “fat-shaming” in our culture. On occasion she has made me think twice about why I hate my body so much.

This recent article was no exception.  Its about a collection of images called “Full Beauty”. 

One phrase in particular struck me deeply the instant I read it.

A similar collection of photographs of men would, most likely, have less of an impact for the simple reason that men aren’t required to be beautiful. Because men are valued for being clever, competent, funny and ambitious, they have no need to take their clothes off to make a political statement about their worth.

I felt like I had sudden clarity over the pressure to be beautiful simply because I'm a woman. But then I realised that even if it is our culture asking something of me that I shouldn't naturally expect of myself, the facts still exist. I am a woman. I want to be beautiful.

I’m not talking size 6 model “beautiful”. I’m not even talking size 10 "she's hot" beautiful. I’m talking the right beautiful for me. The inner and outer beauty that will come from respecting my body and treating it well. 

I’m not talking about having green smoothies for breakfast (although I might try it a few times) or counting weight watchers points. I’m talking about eating how a human being is meant to eat. (Hint: we are not meant to eat processed food full of sugars and fat and chemicals.)

Not only will this bring me (hopefully) more time on this earth to send with my son, and more energy with which to do it, but it will also bring confidence and therefore happiness. I personally don’t think the women in the Full Beauty photos have the confidence or happiness they would like to have. And I don’t think they are treating their bodies very well.

How can I judge this? Because I am the same as them. I am not eating the way a human being is meant to eat. I skip meals and binge on junk food. I do not look good in my clothes. I have problems with my knees and feet because of excess weight. I am full of shame and self-loathing. And I hate myself for it all. 

Despite this, my resolve to turn it around never strengthens as much as I would like. But, at least there is resolve. And the resolve keeps returning. I think it always will, because gaining confidence from my beauty is important to me.

There’s no rush, no pressure. Just importance. 

Right now I don’t have the confidence to look into the camera. One day I will.