The third revolution for women

Today I came across a beautiful blending of two beliefs I hold passionately:

(1) The need to find a new way of working, see my post here on Nigel Marsh

(2) The need to no longer have the world run by men who value power and money. See one of my favourite TED talks by Eve Ensler about embracing the inner girl in each of us.

And also this talk by Isabelle Allende.

The talk I came across today blends each of these ideas. I give you Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post giving a Commencement Speech:

My takeaways from what she said are:

A Third Revolution is needed to change the way women work and to change the definition of a successful career (away from the historical male made model).

Success how we have defined it is no longer sustainable for human beings or the planet.

We need to include well-being in our definition of success. 

Stay connected to the essence of who you are - you will easily lose it because the society around you values money and power.

If we stay connected to the essence of who we are then we can use our inner wisdom when "running the world".

We can all then live our lives with more grace, more truth, more empathy and more gratitude.

Amen

Leaving the Corporate World behind

I find myself drawn to articles about the need for more flexible work arrangements. Have a look at Women's Agenda and you will find many good ones.

When I read these articles I tend to get frustrated.

When it comes to large corporations (and law firms) talking about how they support women in the workplace and provide flexible work-place arrangements, my skeptical opinion is that its mostly lip-service. There are exceptions, but they are rare and they are most certainly not offered to new employees.

I was at a female business mentoring event recently, speaking to the female CFO of a multi-national. She had inspiring stories to tell about how women can progress in her organisation. I was motivated just listening to her. A week later, my friend who happens to work at that same organisation had her request for job-share arrangements turned down by her male manager. She had to resign as working full-time while she has two young children (1 and 3) isn't something she's prepared to do.

My conclusion is that its not possible to work flexibly for a corporation. Their mindset isn't in the right place to properly embrace it. Corporations exist to make money, not happy workers.

I left working in financial corporations about 3 years ago. I have only occasionally thought of going back, attracted by the higher salary mostly. But also by the efficiency of how they get things done (it suits my results-driven personality!). But I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm out for good now. I want to be available when my son needs me for at least another 17 years. And I can't see how that can happen if I go back to working in finance.

Part of me feels scared by this realisation, I feel trapped by cutting myself out of that huge employment market. But if I try hard enough I also liberated and excited about being able to pursue a career that has more meaning to me. Also one that is more within my own control than that of shareholders who need me to work full-time during business hours.

Everything I've been dreaming of on Work Life Balance and more....

This TedTalk by Nigel March has so many fantastic ideas in it. I thought to myself "Yes, Exactly!" and "Why doesn't everyone get this? Its so important."

I've only watched it once, just now, but I already feel like its everything I want to say about the work life balance issue, and more. Genius.

How to Make Work Life Balance Work

Nigel Marsh

Giving away my power

I find it almost impossible to say no. Its part of my unassertive personality.

I have been reading about adrenal fatigue recently as I'm sure I have it. It sounds unrelated to being unassertive, but its not. According to this website, the key to healing adrenal fatigue is to stop "giving away my power". I'm still trying to properly understand what this is. (And I'm planning to post more about healing adrenal fatigue in the coming weeks, a new focus linked to quitting sugar.)

But for now, I think I have a perfect example of giving away my power.

On Friday my boss's assistant called me to ask if I was ok switching desks with another girl in the team.

The other girl's desk is further down the corridor and away from all natural light. I love where I sit now because the people who sit around me are friendly and talkative. Coming into work 2 days per week for some social interaction is really important to me. (Most other days are spent talking with my 22 month old or having superficial conversations with other mums at the park.) The other desk is surrounded by quiet people that I don't know very well. I do not want to move.

But of course, I immediately said yes. Even when I was doing it, I knew that I was "giving away my power". I rationalised it to myself though. My boss allows me a lot of flexibility for which I am very grateful. So in return, I do not want to be a difficult employee. Also, because I only work 2 days per week in the office, do I really have the right to demand "a good desk" over others who work 5 days a week?

I have pushed my wants so far down the priority ladder that I hardly ever focus on them. And I have so little practice asking for things that I don't know how to do it. I feel like if I do ask then I'm being demanding and difficult.

Today I read this article about how saying yes is bad for your health. That article is about me. I always want to be amenable. I'm always doing "the right thing" by others. I have to change though. I still felt uneasy about saying yes to the move, it was preying on my mind.

So I've just sent a simple and polite email to my boss's assistant, asking if we could explore other solutions as I would prefer to stay at my desk. I can't believe I found it so hard to build up the courage to do it, as it was so easy in the end. And I feel better already.

Do you have trouble saying no? Is it affecting your health?